It brings to mind images of cliffs, chasms, gullies, gorges and faults.
I am afraid of heights.
These things scare me.
On my way to work each day, I pass a historical marker for a place called "Wolf's Hollow". The sign marking the location reads: "A Fault And Displacement Of 1000 Feet In Earth's Surface Rocks. Here, In 1669, The Mohawks Ambushed Their Algonkian Invaders."
And if you take the turn and drive up alongside this fault and pay attention to the road you are travelling on - a steep and windy road with crumbling shoulders - you get a sense of the fragility of your position. One false swerve, a corner taken too fast - and into the chasm.
Right now, more than ever, I feel like I am standing on the edge of a precipice - getting ready to take a leap off the edge of life as I know it and into territory that I am not quite certain how to navigate.
The uncertainty of how to parent two young ladies who are on the verge of adulthood.
Navigating the fragility of life following the unexpected passing of The Dude's father last fall and the following Alzheimer's diagnosis of his mother.
Adjusting expectations of myself and the world around me.
Watching the world around me change at a pace faster than I ever expected it could move.
Now, I don't mean to be "heavy Hattie" here - it's not all bad.
In fact, most of the time it's good.
There is a certain self-awareness and freedom that seems to have come at this stage in life.
I am just not sure how to run with it yet.
Somehow, on Sunday, something rare happened. Both girls were gone for the day and The Dude didn't have to be anywhere.
This is a rare occasion - as in a "once every few months" type of deal.
I think we were both a little lost.
"You got me, I'm curious."
He says "let's get lobster". At which point I look at him somewhat incredulously.
So we went to the store and bought a couple of two pound lobsters. Just. Like. That. A major splurge; but somewhere along the way, I realized that running with those crazy moments is okay; there was no need to check in with the "crazy idea police".
We made hasty preparations to prepare and consume them - the evidence of our clandestine feast had to be obliterated before the first child was due home.
Neither of us wanted to have that conversation. As a parent, you spend a lot of time encouraging your child to "share". We weren't modeling that particular behavior very well in those moments. Nor did we have to.
It was a bit of an "aha" moment for me.
There is life on the other side of parenting.
We tempered our meal with a starter of the warm scallop salad. The corn, tomatoes and peaches were from my weekly CSA allotment.
Corn, cut fresh off the cob was lightly tossed in a lime dressing. Ripe, juicy tomatoes were given the same treatment.
Scallops and peaches were seared in a hot pan (no, I didn't use the grill this time) - once the scallops came off the heat, a healthy dose of sherry was poured into the pan with the peaches and allowed to reduce until thick and coating the fruit.
Dabs of basil coulis were available for dipping.
Healthy doses of melted butter were available - for both the lobster and the peaches.
Oh, so good.
Now, I realize that not every moment moving forward can be a "lobster moment"; but I think the knowledge that "new realities" don't always have to be scary will go a long way toward allaying my fears about the precipice ahead.
Not every fall has to be a bad one.
Sometimes, the landing at the bottom is well cushioned.
This post participates in French Fridays with Dorie. Please visit the site for other blogged descriptions of this week's scallop salad. The recipe for this salad can be found here on Epicurious.com.